This might not make me popular in your books, but honestly, Valentine’s Day is one of my least favorite holidays.  There, I said it.  The pressure we put on ourselves and those we love is high.  The expectations are even higher. We scroll through Instagram and Pinterest in the weeks leading up to Valentine’s Day and see a massive display of romance. We feel we have to buy the perfect gift, book the perfect restaurant, wear the perfect outfit, have the perfect card, act a certain way…and when these expectations are not met, we feel a big let-down.  I know because that is exactly how I used to feel in my younger days.

But with age comes wisdom, or so they say. Nothing teaches you more about adjusting your expectations than being married for a long time and having kids!  Early into our marriage, my husband and I had a few disagreements about Valentine’s Day.  I used to get upset when he would go buy my card on the actual date or forgot to make a restaurant reservation. 

So we had a conversation about our expectations. We have agreed to avoid restaurants on Valentine’s Day at any cost and instead, my hubby brings home sushi. I accepted the fact that he shops for a card on an actual day and that our cards have slowly evolved from mushy, romantic cards to funny cards. We have agreed on no gifts and rather we focus on our children.  My husband makes us heart-shaped waffles or pancakes for breakfast and I show my love by helping out at the kids’ class parties and by getting them goodie bags.  We oooh and aaah over the kids’ handmade cards and then we end the day by my husband and I having a glass of wine and watching a movie. Talking and agreeing on the rules took the pressure off. That is the advice I would give to all the young couples out there. 

It is OK to have a fancy dinner and expensive gift exchange if that is what you both agree on and have the budget for.  It is OK to throw a surprise romantic getaway as long as you know your loved one loves surprises.  As with anything in a relationship, communication is the key.

But if you expect to see an Instagram worthy picture of me and my husband all dressed up in a fancy restaurant on a Valentine’s Day, don’t.  We will save that for a regular date night, when we actually feel like it, not when the calendar tells us so.

Have you experienced any Valentine’s Day letdowns? I would love to hear your story.