I had a feeling this year would be different.  There were some years in the past when I wasn’t looking forward to the New Year celebration and felt somewhat of nostalgia when the end of the year was nearing. 

This year was different though.  I felt as if my life was about to change…not in a crazy, dramatic way, but in a slow, organic way.  I felt the kids were getting to a stage when I didn’t have to constantly try to keep them alive.  You know that feeling, right?  I could feel my old self returning after about four-year hibernation.  It was a familiar feeling that I had experience right before I got pregnant with my daughter.  Work was going great, my son Nate was getting more independent , and I started to invest in my personal and professional growth.  Then, few months later, I found out I was pregnant with Elle.  I was super excited but also, let’s be honest, super tired and sick.  All my motivation to move forward got somehow lost in the anticipation of our second child and then trying to survive the next few years.  They were wonderful but also exhausting.  Lack of sleep, not enough time in the day, and going from a working professional to a stay-at-home mom…well, it all took a toll on my self-confidence and on my desire to grow.

This past December, I could feel that old me slowly returning.  I started reading again, exercising, making more effort to see my friends, and I signed up for #MindsetReset program with Mel Robbins.  Many of you probably know who Mel Robbins is, but for those of you who don’t, let me explain.  Mel Robbins is like the “people whisperer”.  She wrote the book The 5 Second Rule and How to stop Screwing Yourself Over, she does TED Talks, motivational speaking and she is just the most real person out there.  She put together this 35 day program called  MindsetReset that for those of us who needed that extra push.  All I had to do was to sign up and watch daily podcasts in which she shared great wisdom.  I can’t even tell you how much this program motivated me.  It was like getting  a free daily 20 minute counseling on all aspects of my  life!  And the points she brought on were not only good for my self-esteem, they were also great for my marriage.  Sometimes when you are married for 12 years like me and John, you can run out of things to talk about (gulp).  But suddenly, we started talking about the issues Mel covered.  We had an amazing, long conversations about where we see our lives going, what we envision for ourselves and our family, what motivates us, what holds us back…you name it, Mel covered it, and so did we. 

This is not a paid advertising for Mel Robbins, this is a declaration on how one little step, or one person can propel you in the right direction.  I had dreams of what I want to do with my life, but I always talked myself out of them “You are not smart enough”, “it’s been done before”, “why would anyone care about what you have to say”, “people will laugh”, “you are too shy”, “you’ll look stupid”. You name it…it was there in my head. 

On that last day of 2018 I’ve made myself a promise that I will not be at the same exact place I was at the beginning of the year when the next year rolls around. Not that my current life wasn’t good… I just needed to personally evolve.  I’ve made myself promise that I will accomplish at least some things on my “dream list”, even if they move me just a few inches forward.  This blog is my one inch.  The first small step…

I have also made myself a promise to say “yes” more, to try new things, to be brave and to give myself little more credit for all I already do. I gave myself a permission for self-care. Something I always viewed as something selfish and always felt bad about.  I started yoga, went back to meditation, picked up few interesting books and started daily journal to help me stay on track.  I’ve made a point to hang out with more positive and encouraging people and not work so hard on those relationships that dragged me down. I’ve started listening to podcasts and participate in webinars.  And then there is this blog baby. I have always considered myself to be technically challenged.  I have never before setup a website or wrote a blog but I always enjoyed writing and photography so I decided to give it a go.  It’s scary to put your thoughts out there for the whole world to see but I decided to take the leap.  I will figure it all out as I go…as Erin Hanson wrote in Winnie the Pooh …What if I fall? Oh, but darling, what if you fly?

Please share with me what did your fresh start look like and what are our dreams?  They don’t have to be huge, every inch counts…